Burger Anyone?
Roll up, roll up, come see what they’ve got,
Come to the front and take up your seat -
It’s time for a taste of their new burger,
And to see if it’s anything like meat!
They’ve used the best of technology
To create this small in vitro patty.
Research in advanced forms of biology,
And the result, they think, looks quite natty.
It was all grown in the test-tube,
From a culture of harvested stem-cells.
They had a great pile, and kept them all sterile,
In a mix of antibiotics and gels.
And when they had enough to get hold of,
They added flavourings to give it some taste,
And colourings and other additives,
To produce a pink, soft-textured paste.
They moulded it and pressed it into its shape,
Until it was ready for them to bake:
Just the one, single burger, you know,
That cost two hundred thousand to make.
The problem is - it don’t seem too appetizing,
Which could be a bit of an issue -
They need to add some fat and some blood,
And a bit more connective tissue.
Nor does it look very attractive,
Despite all the science that’s occurred:
It’s small, and wrinkled and brown,
With every appearance of a small turd.
But they have to get over that drawback,
To produce something less dingy and curled,
And think of the nutritional benefits ,
If we are ever going to feed the World.
We’ve moved from science-fiction to fact,
But we have to think through its release,
Cos tho’ half the planet seems to be starving,
The other half seems to be obese.
Is technology really the answer here?
Don’t we need nation to speak unto nation?
To sort out production and distribution,
More than this Frankenstein creation?
Do we really want food that’s grown in a lab?
Is that really what we would wish?
By men in white coats with their clipboards,
Staring intently at a Petrie dish?
So next time you’re pining for protein,
And you’re panting for something that’s bovine,
Don’t be wishing away animals and farms -
Just think about how you’d like to dine.
Of course you can take a different track,
By doing something that’s novel and edgy:
Just give up eating meat altogether,
And accept it’s time to turn veggie.
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