Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 21st April 2019
Here is our weekly
round-up of events from D-Town:
1.
Shock and horror were felt in equal parts in The Vize
this week when the town’s iconic landmark chip shop was badly damaged by
fire. Onlookers looked on as two men
bravely fought the flames with buckets of water. Fortunately it appears that only the roof was
lost, including the original medieval chip-shop hanging sign, but many sacred treasures
were plucked from the flames at the last moment. These included a large jar of picked eggs
(only half-consumed), a tray of plastic forks and most of the sachets of
ketchup and brown sauce. Miraculously
the jars of vinegar were also preserved.
“Praise be” saith the faithful.
2.
And in a major scientific break-through, scientists at
the D-Town Institute of Medicine (DIM) have announced that they have managed to
preserve the thinking qualities of a brain in the laboratory for many hours
after it was severed from the rest of the body.
Electrical impulses thought to contain basic emotions were detected by
very sensitive equipment inserted as electrodes into the cerebral tissue. It is thought that this discovery may go a long
way to explaining such phenomena as Boris Johnson, Jacob Rees-Mogg and Claire
Perry.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2019
No comments:
Post a Comment