Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 28th July 2019
Here is our weekly
round-up of events from D-Town:
1.
A feeling of general despair settled over the whole borough
after it was announced that the bloke who hangs around at the end of the bar in
a string vest had been elected to lead the Town Council. The election, however, had only involved
members of the local Memory-Loss, Amnesia & Dementia Society (MADS), who
collectively form only 0.00002% of the actual town electorate. Qualifications for membership of the society include
an ability to suck a whole packet of Werther’s Originals at a single sitting, a
lifetime membership of Saga Holidays and….er….I forget the others.
2.
Meanwhile the newly-appointed Clerk of the Council has
issued controversial instructions to his team of local authority lackeys to
guide them on how they should write official memos. These rools include speling proper, not
using, like, slang expressions, not to exaggerate more than a million times,
and to avoid clichés like the plague. The
officials, in turn, have advised the Clerk exactly where he can file his
instructions.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2019
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