It's My Party

 It’s My Party…

It’s not seemly to be selfish, to keep it to oneself

Hiding it from others, to be so possessive, and not to share

But this quite different

In this case, it’s mine, not yours

And clearly belongs only to me

It’s personal and private

The thing that’s growing inside is for me to suffer and endure

To conduct my own campaign of warfare against it

And to battle bravely against what ails me

 

I appreciate your interest

Your sympathy, your empathy

And all the feelings you have for my sorry situation

How you’d like to take over

To make me feel better

To nurse me back to health

To smother me with love

To overwhelm me with information

And the brave tales of others who have battled and won

But you can’t fight by proxy

You’re stepping on my toes

Encroaching onto my patch

Muscling in on my action

Pushing me out of the picture

And invading my territory

 

Can’t you see?

I went to a lot of trouble

Spent a lot of my lifetime

To catch this bloody disease

And develop this deadly condition

Growing these mutant cells

That threaten to spread over the rest of my innards

It was me that gave birth to this monster

It’s my bloody baby, so let me look after it

I must be the one to nurture it, and feel it grow

Till it’s fully formed and large enough

That I can finally stick the knife in

Cut it right away

And kill the damned cuckoo

 

Don’t deny me this one thing that’s mine

The anger that’s driving me

Till the fight-back begins -

It’s one of the few pleasures I’m likely to get

 

 Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2020