Royal Visit
The earliest of starts
Forcing everyone to be there on time
With hurried diagonal parking
In the designated distant spot
And the long, hurried walk to the venue
Through the exclusion zone’s lines of
security
The checking of passes, invitations and
identities
To gather with the hoi-polloi
In best bib and tucker, dressed up to
the nines
Who pretend to have made no special
effort
The men in shiny suits and tightening
ties
The women in frocks and high hair-dos
The Lord Mayor in polished chain of
office
And the councillors and dignitaries
Getting hot under their collars
Affecting not to want to be there at all
But ready to get to the front
When push comes to shove
And the long, long standing around
Labouring through meaningless small-talk
Murmuring amongst groups of gathered
strangers
Waiting for the clock-hands to slowly creep
round
Towards the long-appointed time
Having fun picking out the low-key
security men
Obvious with their nervous tight faces
Darting eyes, short haircuts and thick necks
The wires from their walkie-talkies
Curling round the back of their ears
And the drifting aromas of fresh paint
Cleaning fluids and laundry
Floating on the air in a floral bouquet
A pre-agreed agenda
A palace-approved programme
The timings nailed down to the minute
In a carefully-choreographed series
Of visits, moves, walks and chats
Through the venue, past the people
And groups of obligatory children
Then a flurry of arrival activity
Sweeping her in through the doorway
A small head obscured by the huddle
An entourage descending
Heads nodding and bobbing
Murmured questions and answers
And the forced amusement of the moment
A flash of a smile and some hair
Between the bodies that surround her
The party moving inexorably forward
In line with the timetable
Orchestrated and organised
Through displays and demonstrations
Exhibitions and presentations
Chatting and stopping, stopping and
chatting
And then she is suddenly upon us
Presented to the group
A hand held out limply for taking and
shaking
The couple of questions
Feigning interest in the responses
Ma’am rhyming with jam
Tweedy twin-set and pearls
Bad hair and teeth at close quarters
Before being urged gently forward
By the lady-in-waiting, a hand upon her
elbow
Towards the final station of the tour
The speeches and spouting
A cascade of polite applause
The unveiling of another new plaque
A replacement for its predecessor
Inscribed at great expense
By a guilded local craftsman
Using certified recycled materials
And time-honoured traditional skills
At last she is whisked away again
Towards the next appointment
In another market town
The special cakes left un-eaten
And the tea and coffee undrunk
Which the rest of us may now fall upon
Before drifting back to our normal realities
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