Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 25th July 2021
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. The Wiltshire Olympics have begun, following an impressive Opening Ceremony held in the D-Town International Bowl in front of nearly one spectator. All the athletes and officials have been living inside bubbles for the past two weeks, which have now burst. After only one day of competition, all competitors from The Vize have already been eliminated, and the expected medal haul of one gold medal is now not expected to be achieved. The most exciting event, jumping across the lock gates down the entire length of the Caen Hill flight, had to be abandoned during the first heat when competitors repeatedly fell into the water when narrowboats going up the flight left some of the lock gates open. And one marshal was attacked by a broody swan.
2. And commerce in the town has almost ground to a halt due to the number of people self-isolating after being “pinged” by the NHS Crack & Base App. People are thought to have contracted the virus from playground equipment (swingdemic), marriage proposals (ringdemic), wasps (stingdemic), ex-marital affairs (flingdemic) and ugly people (mingdemic).
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2021
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