Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 10th October 2021
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Tens of supporters celebrated outside the ground of D-Town Ramblers & Old Corinthians on Thursday when it was announced that the club had been bought for an undisclosed fee (thought to be three camels and a promise of no beheadings) by The Taliban. The club’s manager, Ron Knee, said that he was delighted and looked forward to the club progressing up the league towards, perhaps, one day, reaching the dizzy heights of the Germolene League (South). He suggested that the team would win more games through the simple tactics of intimidating the opposition, kidnapping the best players from other teams, and extorting higher fees from supporters wishing to enter the football ground’s perimeter.
2. And there was more joy during the week as the Town Council announced a price-cap on key features of people’s essential shopping – tubes of Pringles will have a ceiling price of £5, curly-wurlies of £2 and a gallon of unleaded of only £50. And the festive season has been saved, as local shopkeepers announced a scheme to begin fattening budgerigars up for Christmas, in an attempt to bypass the traditional supply chain. Meanwhile, citizens have been advised to get their sprouts on in the coming week.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2021
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