Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 17th October 2021
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. D-Town got itself on the map this week, when one of its most famous sons the movie star Neil Down, was transported by milk float from the D-Town International Station to the edge of the known universe (or TrowVegas as it is known locally). After the journey to a place with no gravity or atmosphere, he returned to the solid earth of The Vize with tears in his eyes. Asked if this was due to the high emotions experienced during such an amazing historic journey, he replied in the negative, blaming the effect of catching his tackle in the zip when he went to the toilet.
2. And the Town Council has taken early action to “save Christmas” by appointing recent Chinese immigrant Ho Lee Shit to the role of “Crimbo Czar”. Mr Shit has previous experience of people needing to order quickly by just using a series of numbers. Accordingly turkey portions (with optional hoisin & yellow bean sauce) will be number 47, roast potatoes Hong Kong style will be 32, sprouts (green or bean varieties) will be 23, Cauliflower Szechuan 53 and mince pies Kung-Po 17. Cheese with (prawn) crackers will be available on orders over £25.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2021
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