Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 7th November 2021
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Scandal has rocked the previously-quiet corridors of power at DCC (D-Town Cricket Club), when it was revealed that an internal enquiry into allegations of grockelism had found no major wrong-doing, and that no-one would be disciplined, despite several claims of anti-grockel language and behaviour. Many ex-players from outside D-Town (grockels) have made allegations that they experienced racial slurs relating to their non-D-Town ethnicity, and have spoken to the press of “institutional grockelism” at the club. The DCC chairman has now resigned from his role in order to spend more time with his money, and former player & captain of the club, Dicky Bladder, has been dropped from his weekly show Talking Cricket Bollox on Fantasy Radio as a precaution.
2. And in one of the most egregious crimes reported in recent years, a man from Trowvegas (well it would be a grockel wouldn’t it?) has been convicted not only of murdering at least two songs in a recent busking stint in The Brittox, but also of fucking over the minds of hundreds of people by subtly altering the lyrics of several previously well-known old songs. These dead lyrics had been systematically penetrated and carefully altered, despite the presence of several grammar Nazis. He was finally caught after a sting operation at the Con Club, where he was observed by several witnesses double-dipping the hummous at the weekly Friday buffet.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2021
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