Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 9th October 2022
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Residents of D-Town are in shock this weekend after the town narrowly failed in its bid to host the next Eurovision Song Contest on behalf of Ukraine. A spokesperson for the failed bid said “I thought we had the perfect package. Nowhere else in the UK could possibly look more like Ukraine – with abandoned tractors and other vehicles littering the streets, potholes the size of bomb craters, a population focused on the very basics of day-to-day survival, and an existential struggle against an evil neighbouring superpower (TrowVegas). I mean what more could the BBC have possibly wanted?”
2. But in a triumph for the town’s scientific community, DASA (D-Town Advanced Space Agency), an inter-stellar space probe was successfully fired into the doom-laden, black, atmosphere-free Badlands of Melksham and managed to divert the course of a milk-float that had been travelling along the A350. It had not actually been predicted to collide with D-Town in the next 5 billion years, but you can never be too careful with these things. Just remember – in Melksham no-one can hear your scream.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2022
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