Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 23rd October 2022
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. D-Town’s supermarkets had to be briefly closed this week, the staff barricaded inside, and rows of baton-wielding policemen protecting the perimeters, as enraged shoppers besieged the stores in search of the newly-discovered long-lasting powers of the humble lettuce. A salad legume that can retain its composure and integrity for more than forty-four days is to be much prized in today’s throwaway society, and during the current cost-of-living crisis. Following this discovery, vegetables are now being shown a new level of respect. Shoppers have been seen admiring carrots with awe, and investing leeks with an almost god-like aura. Whilst this may be an overblown modern reaction, at least it’s a long way from the grind of daily politics.
2. And, as the prospect of a new leadership election at the Town Hall looms ever closer, and the horrific nightmare of a return to office of the Moptop Buffoon rears its ugly little head, several citizens (especially voters) are being treated for cases of selective memory syndrome. This little understood, but frightening, condition can lead sufferers to completely forget everything they had previously heard and seen from politicians, and to mistakenly believe (despite all contrary evidence) that such politicians would in future always tell the truth, act with integrity, and lead the Town to victory in its war against Trowvegas.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2022
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