Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 20th November 2022
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. A historic day for D-Town as the long-anticipated football WC (Wiltshire Cup) finally kicked off, despite a few last-minute hitches. The football authorities were blind-sided by a late Council decision not to allow tubes of Pringles to be taken into Fan-zones. “What is a game of football without a Pringle?” asked one baffled, but terminally confused, fan. Emergency supplies of other potato-based snacks were rushed to the venues just in time for the kick-off. However, deeper questions still remain about the Council’s poor human rights record towards people with piercings and tattoos.
2. Meanwhile the global climate conference (COPOUT27), held in the foyer of the Travelodge on London Road, has come to an end with a final communique issued whilst delegates were still dispersing by 49 buses to Swinetown and Trowvegas. The agreement marks a major milestone in measures to limit emissions. Kettles swill not be boiled between 10am and 4pm, washing will be done only on Mondays, and (in a key breakthrough) Greggs steak bakes swill only be served hot, rather than at the temperature of molten lava.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2022
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