Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 12th November 2023
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. The streets of D-Town were awash with police and armed forces yesterday, in anticipation of public disorder as a protest rally (described by the Secretary of the Town Council as a “hate march”) took place. The march, which was described as “Pro-Sainsbury” by its supporters, but “Anti-Lidl” by its detractors, passed off with little violence. Almost one person was arrested, and a compromise was reached when both sides agreed to share a ready meal from Marks & Spencer’s Food Hall. A simultaneous peaceful vigil outside Iceland passed off without incident.
2. Meanwhile, the corner shop in Hillworth has broken ranks with its competitors by removing its single self-service checkout till. Customers at the shop will be transported back decades in time by being forced to take their purchases up to the counter and pay for them by using the services of a “shopkeeper”. It is expected that a “cheery word” protocol will be introduced, together with Please & Thank-You procedures. Thought is also being put into the ideas of “no tick, so please don’t ask” and “buy one, pay for one” as new marketing ploys, but thatr is very much under wraps at the moment.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2023
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