Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 26th November 2023
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. The streets of D-Town were deserted yesterday evening, and tumbleweed blew through the empty shop doorways in The Brittox. The entire population, so evident in the Market Place in their thousands on Friday night, had entirely evaporated. Shops closed early and the pubs were deserted. Even Wetherspoons regulars had apparently gone missing. Meanwhile on The Green the sight of a tattered old police-box, emerging through the mist and accompanied by grinding noises, had attracted the attention of a few wild birds. A man, who had emerged from the box, with wild hair and claiming to be a doctor, accompanied by a young girl (possibly under sixteen) was arrested on suspicion of time-travelling without a licence, and the kidnap of a minor.
2. Earlier in the week citizens had been shocked to discover that time was indeed merely a relative concept. Not only did Black Friday begin on Tuesday afternoon, but it also lasted for a week in some areas, and a whole month in other places. Maudlin Monday and Purple Thursdays are concepts that are yet to take off, but Christmas will now begin (according to leading supermarkets) in August. Easter eggs are due in the shops on New Year’s Day. And, although it’s months yet until pancake day, the shops are already full of milk, flour and eggs. Go figure.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2023
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