Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 19th November 2023
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. The Tory leader of the Local Council has now completed his Cabinet re-shuffle. In a vain attempt to appeal to hard-line right-wingers before the upcoming election next year, leader Richman So-Nice has drafted in some elder statesmen from the past. The Foreign Secretary will be Pitt The Elder, the Home Secretary’s portfolio will be assumed by Benjamin Disraeli, and the Chancellor of the Exchequer will be Winston Churchill. Facing criticism on these appointments, a spokesperson defended the move, saying that, under current Clowncil rules, pre-decease is no bar to holding public office.
2. And, after failing in its bid to nationalise Greggs, the Clowncil has decided to enact a local by-law which changes the status of any purveyor of hot steak bakes from “bakery” to “betting shop”, thus bringing the chain under local planning control. A further by-law will also come into force whereby any by-law that nationalises a betting shop cannot be further challenged in court. The Clowncil batted away any claims that this was not democratic. And, in further surprise moves, bears denied having any defecatory intentions towards woodland, and the Pontiff of Rome has pooh-poohed any idea that he had any leanings towards a censer-based religion based in the Italian capital.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2023
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