Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 2nd June 2024
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. As the General Election campaign drones on into its second week, and the citizenry of D-Town slowly loses the will to live, the competing parties have stepped up their various games in a futile attempt to grab the attention of the electorate. The Tories will introduce hanging and flogging, even for minor offences. Labour will tax the windfall profits of gibbet and stock-makers, and the Lib Dems are going to have a jolly good think about it all. Awaiting the formal release of the official party manifestos in the next couple ofweeks, D-Town residents have been observed entering their garden bomb shelters to avoid party canvassers, taking down satellite dishes to avoid all media news input, and boarding up their houses to avoid the delivery of political leaflets.
2. And as the long two-day Summer continues to stretch Britons to the limit, there is a bumper festival of sport to look forward to. The D-Town cricket T20 team has jetted off to the other side of Swinetown to compete in the All-Wiltshire finals, where they are expected to be heavily defeated in all four of their first-round matches, and be back home in time for the next Bank Holiday. Similarly the hopes of an entire town go with DFC as they strive to make a mark in the South of England football finals. Star players such as Justin Thyme, Alf Resco and Terry Fide will seek, yet again for the 44th time since 1966, to bring “it” home.
Copyright Andy
Fawthrop 2024
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