Here is
our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
·
Police
in Seend have arrested a Bromham farmer who was on the run with a consignment
of unripe aubergines. The aubergines,
although still immature, were said to be in good condition. The farmer had been caught on CCTV holding
one of the aubergines as he crossed the border into Seend last Sunday
night. It is not thought that he will
oppose extradition proceedings.
·
In
a last-ditch action in the High Court in Trowbridge, radical Bromham cleric Abu
Piglet has been granted an injunction which prevents him from paying for his
round at The Wounded Ferret. Piglet has
been fighting this action for nearly eight years through a series of
increasingly desperate legal moves. The
Bromham Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) was forced to apologise to the head of
the Parish Council after one of its correspondents unwittingly revealed that,
in a secret conversation last year, he had asked why “that pillock Piglet wasn’t
forced to buy his round years ago”.
·
The
leader of the Carrot Rooters’ Action Party (CRAP) Ted Willybanned, in an
interview given before the start of his party’s annual conference in the Snug
Bar of the Social Centre, said that if he ever came power he would give free
sweets to all Bromham children, pensioners would be given free supplies of
carrots, and peace and love would reign throughout the parish. Reporters were forced to duck as a flock of
Pink Elephants swooped low over the press conference.
·
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2012
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