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Sunday, 30 June 2013

News From Bromham - Dateline Sunday 30th June 2013

Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline – Sunday 30th June 2013

Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:

1.       A county-wide manhunt is now under way, seeking to know the current whereabouts of Edward Piglet, a former employee of the Bromham Undercover Surveillance Trust (BUST), who has revealed which regulars in The Wounded Ferret have failed to buy their round in recent years.  Piglet initially holed up in the Protectorate of Heddington but, threatened by an extradition request from the Bromham authorities, quickly fled to The People’s Republic of Trowbridge.  However, as he has not officially passed from their Transit Lounge and into Trowbridge territory, efforts to find him have been thwarted.

2.       Despite a televised Probation Appeal Court hearing this week, the infamous Boars’ Murderer, Ian Piglet has been told that he must remain in the Bromham Home for The Terminally Insane, rather than moved to Bromham Maximum Security Prison, as he had wished.  Piglet, with his then girlfriend Myra Hindquarters, was responsible for the abduction and subsequent murder of up to five small pigs in the 1960s.  The bodies, which are thought to have been buried on Minty’s Top, have never been found.  Piglet has consistently failed to tell police where the porkers are buried, toying with the emotions of the victims’ owners and the general public alike.

3.       For details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local radio station Carrot FM.

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2013

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