I’ll tell you a tale to make
your blood curdle,
From when I went for a walk
in the wood.
I saw lights flashing in the
night-time sky,
And I knew somebody was up to
no good.
I walked through the trees to
a clearing,
Where I saw a very strange
sight.
I could see a flying-saucer
had landed:
There were aliens there in
the night.
Little green men were all
walking about,
Investigating the things on
the ground.
There were scorch-marks in
the grass and the trees,
As the ship emitted a deep
throbbing sound.
I wondered what I should be
doing now,
This throbbing was making me
deaf.
Should I be telling the MoD,
Or even calling in the RAF?
But my musings were
interrupted.
I’d no time for more thought.
One of them had crept up
behind me:
The creatures had now got me
caught.
I was frog-marched into their
ship,
And I feared there’d be an
abduction.
They’d experiment on my body,
And to my feeble brain -
apply suction!
I was afraid of this close
encounter,
Of their alien
experimentation.
I felt it would lead to great
suffering,
To pain, and my final
elimination.
But the leader, the greenest
one of all,
Regarded me with his single
blood-shot eye.
His mandibles touched me with
interest.
Then he spoke to me all
friendly and said “Hi!”
Amazed that he spoke English,
I asked him:
“Have you come from a galaxy
far away?
Is your planet collapsing
around you?
Do you need Earth for
somewhere new to stay?
Have you travelled for vast
distances?
From the far side of the
Universe?
Are you escaping a world
that’s in melt-down?
Are you running away from
some cosmic curse?”
“Earthling,” he said in a
rich and deep voice,
“Our technology is better
than yours,
Your understanding is quite
puny,
And we don’t do
inter-galactic tours.
We don’t want to take your
planet’s resources.
We come here just to keep
ourselves sane.
We don’t need your
interfering.
Nor are we interested in your
feeble brain.
We come here to enjoy the
peace and quiet,
To get away from our elders
and betters,
To have a drink and to take
drugs,
And escape from parental
fetters.
We can ride our saucers as
fast as we like,
And make the weirdest shapes
in your sky.
We know that you can’t
explain it all,
And we leave you wondering
why.
We can’t answer all of your
questions,
Nor explain our latest
escapades.
You’ll just have to take it
from me,
We’ve been visiting Wiltshire
for decades.
But, you see, we’d like to
keep it that way.
We don’t want our secrets
revealed.
You can’t tell anyone what
you’ve witnessed.
I’m afraid your lips must
remain sealed.”
I don’t remember much after
that,
It’s hazy, or so it would
seem.
Had I seen those little green
men?
Or had it all been just a
terrible dream?
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2013
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