One Is Sixty-Five

One Is Sixty-Five

Thank-you so much! One is delighted!

One is so grateful – it’s really a gas,

With the nation in so much of a mess,

To finally get hold of one’s bus-pass!

One’s not sure what it’s used for,

But one feels it must be a very great perk,

Although one previously understood,

That one qualified after doing the work?

See – one’s still waiting to get on with the job,

A situation that’s a bit rummy,

(It’s a question of royal succession,

We have to settle the problem of Mummy).

One loves her, of course, and also the Greek -

Naturally, one is terribly loyal –

But one has been hanging around for a bit now,

And one is still not the senior royal.

One has kept oneself quietly occupied,

Carrying out visits as a mere filler,

There was that gel Diana, at one time,

But just lately one has been with Camilla.

One has tried to do one’s regal duty,

Producing young Wills as one’s heir,

But just in case of any mishaps,

One has provided Harry as the spare.

But there’s only so much time one can spend,

At Highgrove, one earnestly feels,

Sixty-five years is far too much time,

For anyone to be kicking one’s heels.

One’s had enough of Duchy Originals,

One finds that the time drags and pales,

One asks - just how long is long enough,

To still be the blessed Prince of Wales?

One dabbles in homeopathy,

And one has to be patient, one grants,

But one finds that after so many years,

One has long conversations with one’s plants.

One rattles between Windsor and Balmoral,

But the servants are getting bored and callous,

And are starting to wonder if their master,

Will ever command the corgis at Buck Palace.

  

One has to remain interested,

One has to look as if one is still keen,

But we’ve had the Diamond Jubilee now –

Why does the parent still want to be queen?

Surely it’s time to let someone else have a go?

One doesn’t know what else one could do,

But to carry on hoping and waiting,

To keep standing here in this short queue.

And what do you do? How interesting!

One must keep oneself busy – that’s the thing!

But one looks like one will get a free TV Licence,

Before one finally gets to be king!

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2013