What Did 2014 Ever Do For Us?

What Did 2014 Ever Do For Us??

It was a very quiet twelve months -

Nothing very much to speak of in twenty-fourteen.

I can’t think of very much of note:

In fact there was precious little to be seen.

There was the bloody awful weather,

There were droughts and hose-pipe bans:

At least we were all in that together!

Then downpours and deluges,

People forced into refuges,

The Somerset Levels were flooded,

Thames Valley homes that were muddied,

And insurance policies that didn’t pay out.

Princess Waity Katy became pregnant again,

Whisper the message who dare,

She’ll soon be able to put her feet up,

Having produced an heir and a spare.

We’ve had Ebola and airliners shot down,

The rise of UKIP and that Russell Brand,

The Tour de France racing round Yorkshire,

And a bacon sandwich eaten by Ed Miliband.

Lewis Hamilton became world champion,

Of Formula One in several Grand Prix,

Downton Abbey droned on relentless,

God – there was some awful dross on TV.

We lost Phil Everly and Pete Seeger,

Tom Finney, Joe Cocker and Tony Benn,

And the world will be a poorer place,

Living without so many great men.

Syria descended into chaos,

And the West pulled out of Afghanistan.

Jihadists executed their hostages,

The Taliban massacred school-kids in Pakistan.

Russian troops took a bit of a wrong turn,

Crimea was annexed and invaded.

Perhaps it’s the start of a new Cold War,

More than sanctions and insults to be traded?

And Cuba won its sixty-year stand-off,

With its neighbour, the U S of A,

But massive corporate tax avoidance

Continued – what more can I say?

England were smashed five-nil in the Ashes,

And didn’t stop long in the World Cup.

Nice watching Brazil get stuffed seven-one though,

Good to watch them suck it right up!

  

And the Scottish Referendum,

Didn’t end in a pitiful divorce,

But now they’re all having a grand stooshie,

Jockeying for the next Election of course!

We commemorated the start of the Great War,

A hundred years that our hearts have bled,

Carried along by a fine wave of memories,

Evoked by “Blood Swept Lands and Seas of Red”.

We jailed Max Clifford and Rolf Harris,

Together with that scumbag Stuart Hall -

They’re locked away where the sun don’t shine:

How “celebrity” goes before a fall!

But we landed Rosetta on a comet!

And Wonga were told that they must stop!

We got through our ice-bucket challenges!

And finished with our first woman bishop!

And in the Abbey in Leicester,

They’re gonna re-bury Richard the Third,

But apart from all that……

Absolutely nothing occurred!

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2015