No Nudes Is Good Nudes
There are many consequences to see,
But very few people I’m willing to bet,
Who foresaw the downfall of Playboy,
Because of the filth on the Internet.
It seems that you’re only one click away,
From any images you’re craving to see,
So there’s no longer very much point
Publishing “lad mags” or even Page Three.
The models will be covering up,
No longer removing their kit -
Just some provocative poses,
No longer revealing a tit.
It’s the end of a publishing era,
And I’m prepared to confess it myself,
No more furtive trips to the newsagents,
To peruse what’s on the top shelf
What was once a schoolboy’s hasty purchase,
Into the satchel, then down to the park,
Giving it large to all the other lads there,
Trying to be casual, just a bit of a lark.
Pretending to read all the articles,
All grown up and looking quite bold,
Flicking past the scantily-clad poses,
Focusing upon the large centre-fold.
Funny how the staple was always in the wrong place,
But it didn’t stop our glances from lingering,
How every copy became so well-thumbed,
From our over-enthusiastic fingering.
The dreams and wishes of young minds,
Were from education and studies torn.
Our hormonal moods, satisfied by a few nudes,
And by a cheap mag full of soft porn.
But that was all a long time ago,
An age of innocence, I confess:
Our sex education completed,
By a few girlies in a state of undress.
And things have moved on a bit now.
For these mags they’re building a pyre,
But it’s technology, not attitudes,
That are killing Hugh Hefner’s empire.
You see it’s no longer about smut and filth,
At least that’s my understanding -
It’s got nothing to do with mags or with bunnies -
These days it’s all about global branding.
Publishing content is big business,
It’s not about daring, nor about joy,
So let’s all say “thanks for the mammaries”
And wave a fond farewell to Playboy.
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