Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 20th December 2015
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1. Bromham’s
Space Programme continues apace with Tuesday’s latest launch of another
transport rocket from round the back of the butcher’s shop on the high street. Local farmer Tim “Rocket Man” Piglet was the
latest “Bromonaut” to join the crew on the orbiting Wiltshire Space Station,
where he will be engaged in carrying out a wide range of experiments in zero
gravity. These include growing carrots
upside down (to make them easier to harvest) and testing the strength of
baler-twine (to investigate its properties as a building material).
2. Dave
Wentwrong, leader of the Field Land-Owners Party (FLOP), and head of the Parish
Council, has been engaged in make-or-break negotiations with other Parish
Council leaders in the Wiltshire Zone, ahead of next year’s village plebiscite
on continued membership of that community.
Over a dinner of boiled cabbage, steamed courgettes and fried broccoli,
our glorious leader claimed that, whilst he could not point to any specific
thing which he had negotiated in the village’s favour, he felt sure that “momentum”
had been created, that “the direction of travel” was the correct one, and that
the minor civil servants he had left behind in Trowbridge to negotiate the
details were bound to come up with “a major triumph”. That’s all good then.
3. A
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all our readers. Same old, same old. Enjoy your barbecued reindeer steaks.
4.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2015
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