Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 10th July 2016
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1. After
an amazing, and frankly ludicrous, week in parish politics we now know one
clear thing – the next leader of the Field Land-Owners’ Party (FLOP), and
therefore Leader of the Parish Council, will be another bumpkin. After three rounds of pass-the-parcel only
two locals were still standing – Tweedle-dee Piglet and Tweedle-dum
Piglet. The names of these two bumpkins
will now be put to the wider village electorate. An attempt to settle the matter by the two
candidates fighting each other in a mud-wrestling contest was stopped on the
grounds of decency and taste.
2. After
a record-breaking journey of almost 45 minutes, the Bromham deep-Wiltshire
road-probe, Tractor 5, was successfully woken from its electronic and
mechanical slumber, and is now in steady orbit around the Trowbridge one-way
system. A number of wide orbits will be
undertaken in an attempt to discover more about how Trowbridge first came into
existence in the dawn of time.
Photographic evidence and elemental samples of traffic film will be sent
back to the Command Centre in Bromham, where scientists will scan the materials
for any signs of intelligent life.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2016
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