Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline
– Sunday 3rd July 2016
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
1. Supporters
of Bromham Casuals, who were knocked out of the 2016 West Wiltshire Germolene
Cup by minnows Heddington, were forced to watch on in amazement as rival local
side Melksham Morons, a scratch part-time side who had not played together
before, continued to play like heroes and to dump out two other proper teams to
reach the semi-final of the competition.
Their shock was compounded when Casuals’ manager Roy ‘Oi’ Bodge-some
announced his resignation from the role.
So far there have been no applicants to replace him.
2. And
in Bromham’s own version of Game Of Thrones, the contest for the leadership of
the Field Land-Owners’ Party (FLOP) entered new realms of fantasy this
week. Following the decision of Bromham
voters to withdraw from Wiltshire (Wexit), FLOP leader Dave Campervan resigned,
sparking a vicious internecine war between rival candidates to succeed
him. Several unknowns have declared
their hand, but these were upstaged when Boris ‘Bonkers’ Piglet withdrew his
name at the eleventh hour, following a severe shafting from his erstwhile
campaign manager Michael ‘Specs’Byjove. As
rival candidates stabbed one another in the back, the likely favourite Teresa ‘Low-key’
Green carefully stepped over their twitching, mangled, bloody bodies to claim
the reins of power.
3.
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2016
No comments:
Post a Comment