Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 21st January
2018
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Rogue councillor Norris Goanddoone has announced plans
for a new bridge which will link the borough to Kettering in the East Midlands. The slip-roads will start at Hopeless Bluff, cross the
yawning chasm at Greater Boredom, cut through the Despair Valley (a site of
special scientific interest), before emerging over a hundred miles away at
Little Point. The scheme, which is as
yet un-costed, is set to benefit the local economy in no way whatsoever, but
will provide several years’ employment to the political commentary industry.
2. And further political upheaval at the Town Hall. The UDIP (United Devizes In Perpetuity)
leader is to be changed again, the fourth time in three weeks. The previous leader (or was it the one before
that?) Paul Nutcase resigned under cloud, before the current leader (or is it
ex-leader?) Henry Beltup made a complete horlicks of his position by continuing
to have an offensive girlfriend. In the
background, of course, is the eminence grise
of its former talismanic supremo Nigel Fruitcake, casting a long shadow over
the party. No policies were affected (or
effected) in the making of this party.
3. For details of these and all other Devizes stories,
don’t forget to listen to local radio station D-Town F-Off.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2018
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