Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday
7th January 2018
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. In
light of the forthcoming wedding of the posh bloke in the Big House to the
foreign D-List Celebrity, the Town Council have decided to clean up the streets
of D-Town in preparation. The homeless, scammers,
beggars, double-glazing salespeople, those sleeping rough, and the destitute
will be swept up in a concerted operation next week before being placed in a
skip for recycling. Cars parked for too
long will be towed away and crushed.
Pensioners are being warned not to linger too long outside shop windows,
and young mothers are being advised to never let go of the handles of baby
buggies.
2. And the
leader of the Town Council has been strongly criticised for attempting to
suppress a new book regarding his habits in the Town Hall (the big white
building on Long Street). In a stunning
expose, the book lifts the lid on the daily life of this major leader of the Free
World. He is said to go to bed very
early each day, including some days before he has even got up. It is also reported that he eats pizza in bed
and spends most of his time on the phone to other civic leaders. He is alleged to have told the Mayor of
Trowbridge that he has a much bigger belly-button than him. No form of literature was used in the publishing
of this book.
3.
For
details of these and all other Devizes stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station D-Town F-Off.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2018
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