The Beautiful Game (or shopping
for a bargain in the transfer window)
I know that January’s not
meant to be sunny,
And I’m really not trying to
be funny,
But these transfer fees
Are more than a wheeze.
Just think what else we could
do with the money.
For this country’s
exceedingly broke,
And it’s likely to make us
all choke.
Football has gone mad,
I’d even say bad,
And it’s getting beyond any
joke.
They pay the stars for their
fame,
But these mercenaries don’t
understand shame.
They take what they can,
They ignore all the fans,
It’s no longer the beautiful
game.
They’re paying these guys
huge weekly wages,
As you can read in the
newspaper pages.
With a marketing deal
The bargain to seal,
And they pay in five easy
stages.
If only we could get
credit as easy this way,
And get our wealthy backers
to pay.
You’ll Never Walk Alone,
Up there in the zone,
Where the pay-back is so far
away.
And what’s all the talk in
the dressing-room?
For lesser players – a
feeling of gloom.
For the big stars,
In their flash cars,
Inspire in the rest of us a
portent of doom.
In the world of back-handers
& bungs,
It’s the agents who climb up
the rungs.
A pay-off in millions,
The billions & trillions,
And the Press Office talking
in tongues.
And despite each massive fee,
Of more goals there’s no
guarantee.
I’d sing a new tune,
I’d be over the moon,
If only more passion I
could see.
But out there on the pitch
& the park,
Things are looking
increasingly stark.
Another nil-nil draw,
Is a bit of a bore,
For the fans who are kept in
the dark.
For the Premier League make
their own law,
As other clubs remain on the
floor,
A game of two halves,
Where some of them starve,
With not enough cash through
the door.
What happened to just local
teams?
Where winning the Cup filled
our dreams?
It’s no longer there,
And nobody cares.
It’s become just a business,
it seems.
It took a hundred years just
to build.
Many’s the crowd that it’s
thrilled.
It’s a funny old game,
But it just ain’t the same,
Now it seems that with TV
it’s killed.
So how can we stem this
incoming tide?
How to get back football’s
old pride?
Well, I may be a fool,
But I know the rule,
And I’m flagging this one
“bang off-side”.
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