Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 18th February
2018
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Crowds continue to flock into the borough for the
continuing Winter Games. Tens of people
witnessed the early heats of name-calling and pub brawling in the High Street,
and there was much interest shown in sliding down Dunkirk hill on
tea-tray. But the biggest event took
place on the frozen surface of The Crammer when a new team consisting of both
North and South D-Town players took on the mighty force that is Trowbridge in
the semi-final of duck-wrangling. D-Town
won the closely-fought game by two swans to one, and will now play Melksham
Muppets in next week’s final.
2. And there was much shock in The Vize yesterday when an
earth tremor, measuring 4.4 on the Richter Scale, was felt throughout the
town. On New Park Street one resident
reported a book falling off a shelf. In Long
Street it was rumoured that a cup of tea stirred itself. And one middle-aged lady expressed surprise and
disgust when told of the quake. She said
she had been having casual sex at the time.
When asked if the Earth had moved for her, she replied that even the
bed-head hadn’t moved.
3. For details of these and all other Devizes stories, don’t
forget to listen to local radio station D-Town F-Off.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2018
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