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Sunday, 17 February 2019

Drivel From Devizes - Dateline Sunday 17th February 2019


Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 17th February 2019

Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:

1.      D-Town was clearly divided in its opinions this week when it was reported in the local rag (The D-Town Dog-Botherer & Herald) that a feral teenager, who had previously left her family home in the borough in order to be with her feckless boyfriend in the terrorist state of Outer Trowvegas, announced that now she was pregnant with da yoof’s child, she wished to return to the warmth and comfort of her parents’ home.  She claimed that, as a 15-year old, she had been “groomed” with promises of deep-crust pizza and alcopops, but the her parents countered this claim as fanciful, stating that she had simply never liked being forced to eat her vegeatables.

2.     And shock and dismay greeted the news that local transport company StuffMyBus had gone into receivership, cancelling all journeys on the bus network, and stranding passengers in such exotic and foreign locations as Swine-don, Chip-Hole and Trow-Vegas.  The company had been struggling recently, running services at less than 40% capacity, occasionally only fulfilling journeys on more remote routes carrying only one man and his dog.  The dog was not available for comment.

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2019


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