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Sunday, 11 August 2019

Drivel From Devizes - Dateline Sunday 11th August 2019


Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 11th August 2019

Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:

1.      Shock reports are coming in that a rat has been found dead in his cage.  Residents have expressed amazement that the rat was not being more closely monitored after a possible incident of self-harm only last month.  His owner, a Miss Emma Royds said ‘I went to the cage and found him unresponsive.  I mean he never actually talked much, but on this particular day he was lying on the bottom of his pen with his feet in the air.  I suspected immediately that he was not well.  I tried to revive him, but with no luck.’  Local authorities suspect that there may have been foul play, since the rodent had been due to stand trial for several offences which may have implicated people in High Places, including the Lady Mayoress (who happens to own a Pest Control company).

2.      And it is suspected that the demise of the above rodent may have led to the extensive local power outages on Friday night.  The local Electricity Company blamed the grid failure on a sudden shut-down of one its feed-in generators, a wheel which is normally powered by caged rats.  Coincidence?  Do ursine creatures defecate in areas of high tree density?

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2019


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