Burglar
Awoken
by a bump in the night, a noise I wish could have resisted.
I
didn’t want to investigate, but the wife – she’d insisted.
So,
armed with what first came to my hand, I crept quietly down the stair,
Clutching
a pair of her curling tongs, to discover who might be there.
There
was a light on in the kitchen: so - there was the criminal joker!
I
shouted out - just to warn him: “Hey! I’m armed with a big poker!”
I
heard a noise and dashed bravely in, to chase off the thief,
But
the sight that met my eyes was one I could hardly believe.
The youth,
he was just sitting there in the chair, as calm as can be,
Helping
himself to some cornflakes, with cold milk, as far as I could see.
He
didn’t look so threatening, slumped at the table, almost dejected,
He didn’t
have the traditional look of the cat-burglar I’d expected.
He
wasn’t armed and dangerous, and there was no sign of a mask,
He
didn’t wear a long stripey jumper, nor have a bag marked “swag” to help in his
task.
He
wasn’t alarmed to see me; in fact, he didn’t even frown,
Just said:
“Calm yourself, Grandad! -and put those curling-tongs down!”
I
said: “A man’s home is his castle – about that, you need to be clear,
You
shouldn’t be eating my cornflakes; in fact, you shouldn’t even be here!”
He
said that as I was here now, he could guess how I must feel.
He
didn’t have the heart to burgle, and from me he’d better not steal.
House-breaking’s
not all it’s cracked up to be; the risks hardly make it worth-while,
Biting
dogs and alarm systems were really cramping his style.
The
hours were anti-social, always having to come in the night,
And
he wasn’t getting much sleep, never seeing much of the daylight.
By
the time I’d heard his story I could see things from his side,
And
felt so very sorry for him; - well, I very near cried.
I saw
him out through the door, once he’d had a good rest,
I
hoped he’d do well in the future, and then I wished him all the best.
I
locked the door behind him, reflecting on what we’d both said,
And,
knowing that crime doesn’t pay, made my way happily back to bed.
It
was next morning that I discovered my wallet and keys he’d lifted,
He’d
been back again in the night and all my valuables shifted.
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