Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 8th September 2019
Here is our weekly
round-up of events from D-Town:
1.
Owners of troughs, cuttings and ditches gathered in
D-Town yesterday to protest against The Mayor’s assertion that he would rather “die
in a ditch” than catch another bus to TrowVegas to ask the rebels there for a
peace deal. A un-named member of the
Ditch Appreciation & Fellow Travellers (DAFT) said that he did not wish to
see any of his care-fully prepared ditches being used to harbour the apparent
suicide of a civic official, no matter what the circumstances.
2.
And in other news – The Vize’s cricket team look to be
in an impossible position in their futile attempt to retain the Remnants
trophy. After their opponents posted a
score of 978-2 declared, the home side endured a torrid day at the crease. Bowled out for 67 in their first innings, the
team were set the seemingly-impossible task of scoring 912 to win in two
days. Unfortunately their batting
line-up has been hampered by various niggling injuries, including a slight
cold, a sore toe, a broken fingernail, “feeling a bit under the weather” and a
minor case of vertigo. No sports fans
were harmed in the making of this bulletin.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2019
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