Flushed With Success
There
was a young man by the name of Ness,
Who
to the toilet rushed in distress.
It’s
a good job he made it,
Or
else I’m afraid it,
Would
have led to an embarrassing mess.
I
can’t say what he was going to do,
It’s
just that he had to get to the loo.
To
reveal what then occurred,
Would
need to have a rude word,
So
let’s just say it was Number Two.
Now
he was from a good part of town,
And
realised with a puzzled old frown,
That
if it’s at all yellow,
You
can just let it mellow,
But
if it’s brown, you must flush it right down.
Thus
it was that he pulled on the chain,
As
it hung there above the porcelain,
But
it came off in his hand,
Leaving
him there to stand,
And
deliver himself of this sorry refrain.
“Oh dear! I can’t see how I can mend,
This thing that’s broken so
I can send,
That which sits in the bowl,
To disappear down the hole,
And carry on, right past the
u-bend!”
Upon
a solution his mind was now set,
And
up to the cistern he wanted to get,
The
mechanism to beat,
He
stood on the seat,
But
his foot went through, into the toilet.
He
heard himself let out a great roar,
As
it all overflowed onto the floor.
His
foot was all muddied,
As
the cubicle flooded,
And
it all ran away under the door.
It
filled his shoe and got into his sock,
When
on the door came a very loud knock.
Someone
wanted a wee,
In
this here W.C.
And
had started to rattle the lock.
He
began to feel like an animal caged,
As
the intruder grew more enraged.
It
always rankles,
With
pants round your ankles,
So
he shouted out loudly: “Engaged!”
And
the moral of this altercation?
Make
sure you’ve got good information,
Take
plenty of towels,
Before
moving your bowels,
And
test before your evacuation.
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