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Sunday, 13 September 2020

Drivel from Devizes - Dateline Sunday 13th September 2020

 Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 13th September 2020

 

Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:

                                              

1.      The Town Council has come out strongly against conspiracy theorists by publishing a number of articles in the local paper “The D-Town Strangler & Throat-Garbler”.  For example it is not true that toilet rolls are imbued with mystical healing powers, nor that face-masks make people look stupid, nor that digital phone masts provide any sort of decent phone signal (5G, 4G or otherwise), nor that Mrs Haskins at No. 43 Long Street is secretly shagging the mayor behind his wife’s back, nor that eating tripe on a Tuesday can give you hiccups.  However the situation on the pope’s religious allegiance, and the toilet arrangements of ursines in the woodland, remains unclear.

 

2.      And the new football season has kicked off, but behind closed doors due to Covid regulations.  D-Town Ramblers played Trowvegas Wanderers at the ground of Old Dribblers and both teams strained to make the slightest impression.  The score ended 0-0, with both teams lucky to score 0.  Only 7 players were sent off, a new low for the opening day of the season, and the match officials only received relatively minor injuries.  Because of the lack of the usual crowd of about 11 people, local hospitals remained quiet.

 

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2020

 

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