Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 27th September 2020
Here is our weekly
round-up of events from D-Town:
1. As
the Drexit deadline approaches, and talks with Wiltshire Council appear to be
deadlocked, contingency plans are being drawn up by the Town Council to create
a new border near Potterne so that customs checks can be carried out there before
entering D-Town itself. In “Operation Stack”
cars, lorries, milk-floats and tricycles will be asked to park on pavements in
order to avoid blocking the narrow country lanes. Vehicles will not be allowed in to other
parts of Wiltshire unless they can prove that they have the correct paperwork
for D-Town entry.
2. Students
at D-Town’s 1-star “university” have been asked to self-isolate for 14 days
after some of them tested positive for aggravated stupidity. Student residency blocks have been cordoned
off and emergency supplies are being shipped in, including food, water,
alcohol, weed, chemical substances, games consoles, wifi passwords and turnips. Applications from various poorer town
residents to go and join them have been refused, on the grounds that we can’t
all be expected to have fun.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2020
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