Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 7th March 2021
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Several Vize citizens were badly caught out this week when they continued their normal practice of shop-lifting goods at several High Street stores, only to receive a bill and deduction from their bank accounts by the time they got home. ‘This new cash-less, till-less technology is taking all the fun out of illicit shopping,’ commented one disgruntled thief. The wind of change has not been welcomed by the British League of Associated Security Teams (BLAST) who have suddenly found that their members are becoming increasingly redundant, as stores throw open their doors and invite people to take whatever they like.
2.
And
Lady Bonkers, most famous resident of D-Town’s Roundway Hills celebrity district,
was forced to part with a considerable reward fee this week when several of her
pets, which had been stolen at gunpoint on Tuesday, were returned to her by a
mystery gang. The pets included two
dogs, five cats, three hamsters, four rabbits, two snakes and a partridge in a
pear tree. The pear tree was unharmed
during the incident.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2021
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