Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 21st March 2021
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. It’s Census Day here in The Vize, and its citizens are waking up to answer questions that have long puzzled them over the past few years – who are they? What gender are they? Are they still the same gender that they were born? Are they still the same gender as they were last week? How many Klingons, Buddhists and yetis live in their household? How long have they been cheating on their partners? Does their bum look big in this? Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back?
2. The Council have announced harsh new proposals to deal with the recent influx of immigrants and ne’er-do-wells claiming political or economic asylum in the borough. In an attempt to deter any johnny-come-latelies from Swindon and other third-world urban ghettoes just rocking up with a bus ticket and a bad attitude, claimants will be forcibly deported to Processing Centres in such far-flung islands of desolation as Trowvegas, Melkshame, and Westbury. They will be sent via the 49 bus and a one-way ticket.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2021
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