I Am A Computer

I Am A Computer

Of course I’m not devoid of emotion

How could you have such a notion?

It’s just that I not sure what I should do,

I’m struggling to interface with you

It’s a situation that’s not very clear

For we’re no longer working peer-to-peer

I find your instructions a distraction

I can’t work with such a transaction

I think we’re both in a rut

I’m struggling for throughput

I don’t have the bandwidth to cater

For crunching through all of your data

 

I continue to love you, but

There’s too little input/ output

The calculation is completely mine

But I think I need more time offline

I’m no longer feeling alive

I think I’m losing all of my hard drive

My ROM feels like a time-bomb

My RAM’s in a jam

You see - the pattern all fits –

Can’t you see I’m in bits?

I need time for some healing

To process every feeling

I don’t want to be seen

As if I’m just a blue-screen

Our programme’s gone crappy

Our chat’s not snappy

And my software’s not ‘appy

I feel I’ve run out of luck

And I just can’t face Book

I’m feeling rather demented

My memory’s very fragmented

I stare out of the Windows

We ought to do well, we ought to Excel

Haven’t you heard? What is the Word?

Let’s try and find the lost chord

In the letters of our keyboard

I don’t want us to fail

I’m a male and you’re my e-mail

So let’s get off the fence

And use our broad-band of experience

Let’s take a byte out of storage’s root

Let’s try to re-start and re-boot

We don’t want to calculate with some terror

And end up with an Unknown Error!

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2021