Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 15th August 2021
Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:
1. Following the recent withdrawal of troops from the 20-year D-Town military campaign in Afghanisham, military leaders have been shocked to realise that enemy troops have now moved into the abandoned areas, taken over every previously occupied town and villages, and begun to impose Wiltshire-area Law. One military leader was heard to remark that this was as surprising as learning that the Pope is in fact Catholic. Under new laws, women will not be allowed to enter pubs unaccompanied, nor to buy drinks without a male companion, but will be forced to pay for the traditional after-pub kebab with double chillie sauce.
2. And the campaign to save Martha, a North American lesser-spotted Yeti, has stepped up a gear. Whilst DEFRA marksmen close in the farm where the animal is held in order to cull it, following positive testing for yetine-TB, supporters of the rare-breeds loony campaigner have set up road-blocks and tank-traps surrounding the animal’s former home in an attempt to stay the pending execution. Meanwhile the owner – a Miss Letty Sleaf – has gone into hiding, taking with her two Bigfoots, four unicorns, and a small Loch Ness Monster.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2021
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