Senior Escorts Limited (or My Life As An Ageing Hooker)
I get my assignments from the agency -there’s quite a few
of us on the books.
I’m working for Twilight Escorts, for I still haven’t
lost all of my looks.
I’m what they call a Silver Stallion, serving older
ladies, with a quick wink.
You might have thought they were past it, but there’s
more call for it than you might think.
I specialise in the older clientele: crusties, crumblies
and old wrecks.
I’m not worried about their ages, as long as they’ll pay
me for sex.
For everyone has needs to be met, and if I can speak to
you frankly,
There are worse ways to spend your afternoons, than
providing some hanky-panky.
For elderly widows get lonely, and just want to have some
fun days,
But I think that it also helps that we do pensioner
discounts on Mondays.
I can only handle one or two jobs in a day, but it’s not
the energy that I lack.
I just have to be quite careful, or else I’ll put out my
back.
My ladies have simple requirements, and don’t make
complex conditions.
I’m not quite as lithe as I was, so I don’t do funny
positions.
I’m clean and I travel quite light, and I’m one of their
younger boys.
I don’t need much equipment: just baby-oil and one or two
sex toys.
Afternoon is the most popular time and, I know that it
sounds corny,
But it’s when the clients are mostly awake, as well as
feeling most horny.
So, after I’ve parked my Zimmer frame in the hall, and
perhaps been offered a medicinal whiskey,
It’s time to get on with the business, and chase her
round the house, if she’s frisky.
It’s all straight-forward once in the bedroom, and I’m
certainly not mocking.
I’m quite used to false teeth and false limbs, and
rolling down their surgical stockings.
Medical appliances hold no fear for me, and I’ll also
help with suspenders,
And afterwards we’ll share a cup of Sanatogen, and settle
down to watch Eastenders.
But I can’t stay for too long at their house, even though
they might make a fuss.
I can’t drive any longer at my age, so have to go and
catch the last bus.
I’ve got my regular customers, but the flow is hardly a
Niagara.
Still - my doctor’s quite understanding, and keeps me
supplied with Viagara.
I provide a reliable service, and it’s one I think that
appeals,
For my latest advertising slogan, I’m selling myself as
“Feels on Wheels”.
We’re sponsored by Help
The Randy, and other organisations you’ll learn.
Our latest out-sourcing contract is in support of Urge Concern.
Satisfaction’s not guaranteed, I feel I just ought
to mention,
But what better way can you think of to fritter away most
of your pension?
So if you’re in need of my services, and we cater for all
sorts of ages,
Log on to our website at once, or look for us in Yellow
Pages.
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