Drivel From Devizes - Dateline Sunday 28th August 2022

Drivel From Devizes: Dateline – Sunday 28^th August 2022 

Here is our weekly round-up of events from D-Town:                                              

1.      It has been a bad week for the domestic economics of D-Town citizens.  Following the fluctuations in world markets, the rising cost of gas and oil, global conflicts and the impacts of global terrorism, the energy regulator Total Wattage At Home (TWAT) has announced a new set of caps to the energy price tariff.  From 1^st October, the price will require the sacrifice of every family’s first-born child.  From 1^st December this will rise to the culling of at least one elderly dependant relative, and from 1^st March next year, the burning of all household possessions in communal street bonfires.  But stay warm for Winter! 

2.      And there are fears for the safety of the residents of TrowVegas, after fierce fighting broke out around the Atomic Pork Pie Factory.  Supplies of pork (snout and gristle) are reported to have gone critical, after local separatists attacked an overnight offal-relief train bringing supplies to the troubled plant.  Special supplies of flour and fat for pastry-making have been smuggled in to the facility, where workers are said to be risking their lives to manufacture the local savoury ddelicacy. 

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2022