Position Closed – Cashier Balancing
Another from the
“Bewildering Signs” collection. Previous
examples were:
·
This Toilet is Out Of Order
·
Do Not Worry Livestock
·
Casual Bearers Wanted
·
This Door Is Alarmed
Whilst waiting in the bank the other day
I noticed that things were exceedingly slow
That the number of people had started to grow
Only two cashiers open – what do you know?
Their automated facilities I’d chosen to eschew
So the time I was spending I’d started to rue
And, as I stood there in the lengthening queue,
I wondered what else I could do
In a chair at the side an old lady dozed
Slowly to the front my position had nosed
And I saw that there a notice had been posed
On the third cashier’s till – Position Closed!
The reason given was what puzzled me
“Cashier Balancing” but it was easy to see
She was sitting down – how hard could it be?
But I had a vision that amongst the cash and receipts
She was secretly practising great feats
That she was only pretending to be in her seat
And that really she was a talented athlete
That, if she hadn’t maintained an even keel,
She’d soon be attempting a cart-wheel
Or perhaps she was a prancer, or a chancer
Disguising her skill as a ballet dancer
That, operating without the aid of a safety-net
There were tricky positions into which she could get
Including that of a pirouette
That she practised with her legs as she sat
Her various manoeuvres as an acrobat
Perhaps she would glimmer and shimmer
When working as a synchronised swimmer
Or maybe she was cast, while working really fast
If she ever appeared as a gymnast
And, as she pretended to work at her station,
I wanted to award marks for “Degree of Difficulty”
Or even for “Artistic Interpretation”
For I’m sure that mere double-entry book-keeping
Sometimes must have reduced her to weeping
And, not wanting to appear dumb,
She extracted every last crumb
Of comfort, whilst she sat on her bum,
Not letting her body grow numb
But maintaining her equilibrium
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