Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
· Dave Wentwrong, leader of the Field Land Owners Party (FLOP) denied in the strongest possible terms that he had been out riding on Rebekah Paget’s horse last year. The animal, Old Noggin, had previously belonged to the Bromham Dairy after being retired as a police horse in 2001. Responding to calls from the press to explain his repeated sightings at Paget’s Riding Stables wearing full riding gear and carrying a crop and riding helmet, his clothes covered in mud, Wentwrong went on the offensive. “I may have been riding,” he said, “but it was not on Old Noggin”. Rebekah Paget was unavailable for comment.
· James Paget, son of Bromham oligarch Rupert Paget, has retired as head of the family firm’s media empire. With immediate effect, he will no longer be Chief Executive of the Bromham Bugle, but will become Chairman of the Group’s holding company, Bromham International. His new post will involve being in charge of chairs, from both a policy and strategic perspective. He will also be expected to move the chairs around when required to do so by his father.
· In a shock move Manglewort Humpadonkey, 75, retired club crooner from the Bromham Social Club, has been appointed by the Bromham Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) to represent Bromham in the EuroWiltshire Song Contest, this year being held in Azerbyfrome. Bromham last won gold at the event over ten years ago, and it is hoped that this bizarre choice of singer will shock judges into awarding more than the “nul points” often awarded to Bromham’s entries. The title of the song to be entered is a closely-kept secret, but is rumoured to be that old traditional Wiltshire folk ballad “Save All Your Pissing For Me”.
· For details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2012
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