Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline – 11th March 2012
Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
· In the continuing row over bankers’ bonuses, the Chairman of Bromham Capital Traders, Mr Bob Dye-Mudd, is refusing to back down over his remuneration package. Even though BCT posted a loss of £1.42 last Financial Year, Dye-Mudd is still entitled to a bonus, partly in cash and partly in sprouts, although his long-term incentive turnip package will be deferred until next year.
· The vicar of St Knickerless, the Revd Ivor Pugh, has spoken out strongly against the modern-trend for out-of-village forms of marriage. “The historic tradition of marriage means wedding one villager to another villager, and has done for generations. Bromham’s in-breeding depends upon it. It’s time that we halted the so-called modern progress of allowing outsiders into the gene pool. The next thing you know, we’ll have children being born with only ten fingers.”
· Dick Legge, leader of the Workers’ Horticultural Organisation (WHO), and Deputy Parish Leader, has called for an increased vegetable tax. “Those who pick more than two thousand carrots a year should pay a higher rate of carrot tax, in order to protect those at the bottom of the scale with an income of less than ten carrots a week. Hard-working carrot-pickers up and down the parish deserve to be protected from the impact of the carrot recession.”
· For details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2012
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