The Road To Hell

The Government's latest proposal to put the roads out to tender seems to me to be another nail in the coffin of our national infrastructure.  Why, given all the evidence to the contrary, do the Tories continue to believe faithfully in the power of privatisation?  Look at railways, gas, electricity, water - a complete bloody nightmare for customers, and a cash-stream for share-holderrs & consultants. I despair.  Here is my rant on the subject.

The Road To Hell

They’ve already sold off the railways,

The water, the power and the gas,

They had a good go at the forests,

Now something worse is coming to pass. 

They want to put the roads out to tender,

To see how much money they’ll get.

They’re dismantling the infrastructure,

And it’s the maddest scheme they’ve had yet. 

They say it’s for greater efficiency,

To be managed by private enterprise.

How it’s all going to be so much better –

I can’t tell if that’s stupidity, or lies. 

Now I have to admit there’s a problem

With our national network of tarmac -

It’s not in any great condition,

Being filled with potholes and many a crack. 

The roads are a curse, they’re going to get worse,

I can already hear some of your moans,

They won’t give a damn, as we sit in a jam,

And stare at a long line of cones. 

Our great super-highways will become rural byways,

Into dis-repair they’ll finally drop.

There’ll be a short hike between each turnpike,

Where will this insanity stop?

It’ll get colder, out on the hard shoulder,

Just let me give you the cold facts -

Once they’ve sold off the silver,

They’ll be asking for yet more road tax. 

You see in the main, they’ll want private gain,

We need to nip this scheme in the bud,

It’ll be too enticing, to miss out on road-pricing,

It won’t be at all for the public good. 

So let me be tutor, and show you the future,

Let me describe some outsourcing jive:

Next time you drive forth, and you’re going North,

You’ll be using the “Budweiser M5”.

It’ll be poor, on the “Pepsi M4”,

Specially if you’re driving a bus,

You’ll be sorry, if you’re in an old lorry,

But remember: “Your car is important to us!”

If you wish to drive, on the M25,

You might think you’re going insane,

It won’t be a dash, if you don’t tip up the cash

To drive in the “Barclay’s First Class Lane”.

Apart from the fines, there’ll be more signs,

There’ll be no end to their marketing tricks:

I’m sure one will say: “Have a Nice Day,

And Thanks for using the Tesco M6”. 

We’ll all hit the dole, if we pay every toll,

We’ll be depressed by the new Highway Code,

It’ll be a strain, if we want to complain

To the new regulator, known as “OffRoad”. 

So let’s prevent this highway robbery:

And say that the roads we’re not willing to sell,

Tell ‘em it’s badness, amounting to madness,

For truly – this is the Road To Hell.

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2012