View Of A Stranger
It seems
indiscreet to peer inside
This blue-bound
diary
And read the
youthful scribblings
The secret
scriptures
Of a young soul seeking
What he thinks is love
Intimate and
vulnerable
His tormented,
tortured yearnings
Spelled out day by
day
In his tight, neat
handwriting
In his black and
blue biros
Using the cryptic
code
That is not
difficult to decipher
Snooping through
the writing
Prying among the
pages
Of this joyless journal
I am struck by his
outlook
The black and
white world
Of the early
Seventies
So short on
subtlety
Lacking nuance
The direct and raw
emotion
The hurt and the
anger
The brutal honesty
Of this callow
youth
Only recently a
child
I marvel at his
motivations
His immature ideas
And his carnal
calculations
This rough, strange
juvenile
Living in his
different world
Thinking ugly
thoughts
I could never
entertain
I wonder at this
person from the past
A ghost from forty
years ago
And find it almost
impossible
To admit the surprising
truth
That I cannot
recognise myself
Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2012
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