Here is
our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
·
A
row has broken out in Bromham Parish Council regarding the exact nature of the
enquiry into the fixing of the parsnip inter-field fixed lending exchange
(PIFFLE) rate. The Field Land-Owners’
Party (FLOP) want an enquiry headed by two old blokes in the corner of the snug
bar of The Wounded Ferret, whilst the Carrot Rooters’ Action Party (CRAP) are
holding out for an enquiry headed by a committee of regulars from the saloon
bar.
·
Scientists
at Bromham’s Small Kohlrabi Collider, based in Peter Piglet’s former cow-shed
at the bottom of Ash Lane, have announced a major breakthrough in their
researches to find the long-sought-after Pig’s Nose-on. It had been lost several years ago after a
long night on the cider. However, the
scientists found that by smashing kohlrabi into each other at incredible
speeds, they could knock each other senseless, bringing about a sudden
recollection, for just a few seconds, of the whereabouts of the missing
Article.
·
Details
have been announced of the cuts to Bromham’s defence forces which, by 2014 will
be at their lowest level since the Great Tea-Trolley disaster of 1947. Police foot-patrols of the borough are to be
slashed from four times a week to three times a week, and the local
police-force will be reduced from Fred, Bob & Jim down to just Fred &
Bob. Jim will be reduced, if possible,
by a process of natural wastage.
·
For
details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local
radio station Carrot FM.
Copyright
Andy Fawthrop 2012
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