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Sunday, 29 July 2012

News From Bromham - Dateline Sunday 29th July 2012

Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline – 29th July 2012

Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:
·         Members of BLAG (Bromham Local Action Group) will today begin investigating the reason for obvious gaps in the seating of the Number 33 Bus.  The vehicle is normally expected to be full to overflowing (35 seated, 6 standing) on its trip between Bromham and Chippenham (nearest point of civilisation), but certain seats have been observed to be un-taken this week.  Mrs Clarrie Grimes, who normally sits three rows back on the left-hand side, was not there yesterday.  It is suspected that she, like some others, have been going to Chippenham and not bothering to come back on the 16.20 service as normal.

·         In a flying visit to Bromham this week, Dick Head, Wiltshire Fascists’ Organisation’s candidate to become President of Wiltshire Council later this year, managed to offend many with his out-of-touch remarks on Bromham’s state of readiness to host the annual Carnival.  He spoke of security concerns on the High Street, whether the number of bacon baps at The Wounded Ferret would be enough to feed the expected crowds, and a potential strike by litter-pickers in the Borough.  When informed that the Carnival had already successfully taken place over a month ago, without incident, Mr Head was quickly bundled away into a waiting limousine by his handlers.

·         Sport - Bromham Casuals begin their ignominious return to the Germolene West Wiltshire Super League in the lowest division, following their liquidation and reformation for vegetable payment irregularities.  They will play a team of pub regulars from The Wiltshire Whippet on a pitch at the back of the Recycling Centre, if they can get enough players together.  Manager Benny Dogleash hopes to field an unchanged full-strength side, including star striker Dwayne Mooney, who has failed in his bid to obtain a lucrative £50 transfer to another club.

·         For details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local radio station Carrot FM.

Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2012

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