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Sunday, 7 April 2013

News From Bromham - Dateline Sunday 7th April 2013


Bulletin From Bromham: Dateline – Sunday 7th April 2013

Here is our weekly round-up of events from Bromham:

·       1.  There were massed protests, involving up to four people, in Bromham High Street this week as the impact of the Parish Council’s swingeing farm benefits cuts began to bite.  Families receiving less than three bunches of carrots per week, and who have a spare shelf in their vegetable rack, will lose up to 25% in the amount of credit they are allowed at the village shop.  Meanwhile, farmers who have a whole barn-full of vegetables in storage, will find themselves better off over the year as a whole.  The Clerk of the Parish Council defended the changes saying “we want to end the culture of vegetable-dependency in Bromham”.

·         2. Bromham Casuals have surprised football-lovers everywhere, and especially those in the Wiltshire Germolene League, by replacing their long-serving, but largely unsuccessful, manager Benny Dogleash, with a right-wing self-confessed fascist named Paula Dick-Annio.   Defending the Club Board’s decision, a statement was issued to the press, stating that the football performance on the field was far more important than the manager’s gender.  “We wanted to shake things up a little in the dressing-room, and the introduction of a woman will probably achieve that”.  Star striker Dwayne Mooney was unavailable for comment last night.

·         3. For details of these and all other Bromham stories, don’t forget to listen to local radio station Carrot FM.

        Copyright Andy Fawthrop 2013

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